Lets start out by saying Friday I thought I had no voice. Sang Generations all in head/mix (no belt) so it sounded even more 'white' than usual. Sat morning I woke up - not a peep was coming from my mouth. Couldn't get one out. Went to the show and attempted Generations. It was ... interesting. Most of it came out. There is one REALLY high part that of course is a solo for me and when that part came when I was on stage in my head I was thinking "oh fuck. What the hell am I gonna sing here. This is the hardest part, oh lord here it comes" and what did I do. I dropped it like 2 octaves b/c that was the only thing my voice thought of doing. Dman was it low. Donna told me she thought Ron was singing it until she realized it was me! haha. Oh well. I squeeked thru the rest of the song and ended up lip-sincing the rest of the show b/c it's all pretty harmonies with just the "family members" and I was NOT sounding pretty. hehe. And my family was there that night. Not that they care, I could have been the worse singer on the stage and they would still love me, but still. And there were other LI actors there that night who, and I'm sorry to say, esp if they happen upon this journal, were one of the WORST audiences ever. They were so unappreciative. I was struggling and you could here it. And the girl who plays Eve/Yonah was cracking and struggling (we found out last night she has strep throat-yikes). They didn't laugh at any of the funny stuff. When a song was over I swear you heard crickets before they realized they were supposed to clap. ugh. I perform to entertain people, and when you have an audience like sat night, it is just so frustrating. Esp when on Friday night, we had our smallest aud yet (mainly due to the huge snow storm for LI) and they were sooo good and appreciative. It really is a let down in a way. Oh well, my parents loved me all the same. Sunday before the show Donna and I attempted to find the Smithhaven Mall and go to a store called Torrid - which is an clothing store for plus sizes, but more goth/funk. I could have spent a lot of $$ in there. But I only bought one pair of nice black pinstrip pants that I can wear for work or casual and some jewelry. One of the rings I bought had tiger eyes on it and one of the stones fell out already. Well, it is cheap jewelry...lol. they are online as well at www.torrid.com Sunday's show I had more of a voice. Still not fully there, but it sounded very raspy. One of Donna's friends said she actually really liked it and thought it was normal to be so raspy. Hey, gotta take a compliment when you get one.

Afterwards we went to a chinese buffet which is one of the only ones I actually enjoy. Then Donna, Jerry and I went to Rich's to watch Oz on HBO. LOVE that show.

Rich and I need to really sit down and discuss the possibility of moving into D&J's house now. They are really moving on buying a house and Rich and I need to make a dec if we are really going to do this or not. I know I can def live with him, I don't think that would be a prob for us. I gotta figure out if I can also financailly work it out and then Rich and I have to figure out how we are gonna work it out together - who gets what bedroom, etc. I'm all nervous and excited at the same time!