I think I�ll go weigh in at lunch and just go home after work tonight�skip dance class. Miss Eileen isn�t going to be there anyway so we aren�t going to start learning the new dance yet so it won�t be that bad. I�ll just make sure I get my ass up on Saturday and do some sort of exercise for 30 min before I shower and go to Mrs. Mankowski�s funeral. *sigh* that just made me sad to say that.

His mom was always so nice to me. She was a devote Catholic and still accepted me into her house despite the fact that she knew I was basically �the other woman� for most of my relationship with her son and that I wasn�t Catholic. I was always invited to dinner and to church and movie nights with them. When Joe and I had a really bad experience they were there for us 150%. She loved her family more than anything else on this planet. She volunteered to help in the community. Did so much with the church. She was a truly giving person. It always makes you wonder why God would take someone who does so much good and leave those who piss all over every one and every thing here on Earth. But, I tell myself that everything happens for a reason. And although we may never know what the reason is, it is still out there and a part of our crazy lives and world.

The drink people across the hall are now starting to sell the Campbell�s Soup At Hand soups. (You know, the ones that come in a little drinkable cup and you microwave them � it�s all about the packaging folks). They let us try them for free. I tried the classic tomato. Still tastes just like regular Campbell�s soup from the can only now in these cute little packages and you don�t have to add water. Hehe. They have 4 flavors: Classic Tomato, Chicken Noodle, Pizza with Pasta (yes, Pizza soup) and a Mexican Fiesta Soup. Each cup is one serving and only 2 points on WW. I think I may have to go back and try the pizza one. That just sounds too crazy to me � so that means I have to try it.

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Alright, just got back from weighing in: .8 lbs. It�s better than last week, which shows that I�m making some correct changes and better choices. I just gotta keep it up. And I�m sure going to the gym 2 times didn�t hurt either.

Balanced my check book � and it�s getter better. I FUCKED myself royally this summer with my funds. I spent soo much money it�s insane. And I�m paying for it now. Unfortunately its going to take me thru Christmas to get back on track again. What does that mean, Christmas gifts are going to be a little less lavish, but not any less from the heart � especially since I still have wedding to go to and give a gift to and pay for airfare to St Louis is February.

I just have to stay positive and know that it will all work out in the end. Somehow. I know that every mess I�m in right now is my own fault. No one else to blame. Well, maybe Mastercard for making it so easy to charge things. And Sam Adams for making his beer taste so good. And the people who invented cheeseburgers, fries, Coca Cola, potato�s and pizza. Otherwise, pretty much all my fault.