Another long Ragtime rehearsal. I can�t believe how people can�t catch onto the simplest thing. Maybe I�m being a bitch, but it�s really rather F�ing annoying when people ask how we do something when it WAS JUST EXPLAINED and SHOWED to us 2 min before that and you were standing right there. And it is just walking for the most part. I don�t understand how it is so difficult for most of the people to catch on. Focus people. Pay attention when it�s your turn. I get up early too. I�m tired too. And I have lost a lot of my desire to be there (sorry Tony) due to a few factors, but I am committed and want to look and perform my best when I am on stage so I try to listen and hear over all the other talking and laughter and private jokes and gestures that are surrounding me and learn what I am supposed to do. I can�t believe we had to go over most of what we did the other night AGAIN last night more than once. Ridiculous. I�m having a hard enough time with the blocking b/c I don�t know the music (which is partially my fault, partially b/c I was in Annie and missed most of the vocal rehearsal). But on a good note � I finally feel like I know what I am supposed to be doing and feeling in all but the ending of �Success� (I know we come back on at one point after we leave, but I was never taught that), Atlantic City (which we haven�t done yet) and the Epilogue (which we briefly went over once at the studio but what we did could possibly change). Unless of course any of the other stuff that I know gets changed, which has been known to happen. I NEED to learn this music. We open next weekend�yikes�10 days including today. I will know it by opening, that I�m not worried about � just frustrating for me right now that�s all.

Annie closes this weekend. I�m actually doing a full weekend of shows (3 Hannigans and a Lily). I haven�t done that since opening weekend. I feel a little out of the loop. And not just with Annie. With Ragtime as well. I�ve been feeling that a lot lately � outta the loop � or that I don�t quite fit in anymore � and I don�t know how I got here. Should I be saying this here where so many people read this? Maybe, maybe not, but it�s how I feel so, there it is.

After tech week is over, I have to add a 3rd night to the gym a week. I�m going 2 nights to the gym, and on Thursdays I have 2 hours of dance a week. But I think one more night of the gym will be better.

Okay, I�m done for now.