I got pissed Wed night at rehearsal for Dolly. We learned the entire �Hello, Dolly� number on Tuesday night. Once again, a lot of walking and step touching � nothing too challenging. Wednesday we basically went thru it again step by step by step (literally) learning the ENTIRE friggin number over again. It was absolutely ridiculous. I was not the only one who was tired and bored and a little unhappy about doing it all over again for no apparent reason. There was no reason to break it all down as much as it was for a second time. The few people who missed the night before could have caught on in like 2 run thrus of the number. I left at 10pm. I couldn�t do it anymore. I was emotionally drained for the week and had had enough so I left. Should I have stuck it out, probably. But I just couldn�t do it. I would have gotten bitchy and started to say things out loud and figured it was just safer to leave. Haha.

Last night at the dress reh for the dance recital I had a breakdown in the bathroom with D over the costumes. It was a disaster. It was hideous. I seriously contemplated not doing the number b/c I have never felt so self-conscious and uncomfortable in my entire life. I tried not to cry, but I couldn�t help it. I kept my T shirt on under it for dress reh. M�s hubby took some pics of us. Here is one of our group shots. There will be more to follow soon. We were taking them in the hallway and the janitor came up and asked us if we wanted to go into the library where we could take better pics than just against the wall in the hall. How nice was that of him!

Tonight when it was time to get ready, D and I found an empty hallway away from everyone else to put on the disasters. I put on a long sleeve nude bodysuit to cover my arms and back and felt a little better in it. So we go out onto the stage and I just figured�WTF, I might as well just give it my all, I�m out here and I�m gonna dance my ass off. So I�m dancing, and smiling and I�m so into it (even while trying to keep my space with the woman in front of me def not keeping in hers and making me move). We get thru the first part and the lines switch and now I�m like �here I am in my BRIGHT yellow costume in the front, but it�s okay cause I�m cool� and I�m tapping along and into it and then all of a sudden, Madelin left the building. I look at D who is on my right and she is pivoting to the back with everyone else in the group and I�m like, oh, I�m supposed to do that as well, but I didn�t. So being front and basically center I just looked back at the audience, smiled my biggest smiled, kept �sugaring� (which was the step before the pivot I missed) until the next step and (literally) jumped back in. HAHA. Hey, I gave myself a solo. *and bow*

And now it�s over. Well, my dancing part is over. I get to wrangle the kids once more tomorrow. And I have the �bad� kids tomorrow. Julian. That is a name I will say over and over and over and over again and again and again tomorrow until I am blue. But in the end it will all be great. OH and �Ellen� yelled at me for the first time EVER. I kinda feel honoured! LOL. Don�t fret, �Marge� came out and yelled right back! HEHE. I love �Ellen�.

AND I missed seeing Randal this week. So sad. He was in Newark for a week and I couldn�t go see him. He told a friend of mine that he didn�t think that Jenn and I hearted him anymore b/c we hadn�t come to see him yet and he is basically in our backyards. Then I saw him on AIM last night and he �yelled� at me for not seeing him. I explained about how I just started a new job and couldn�t leave early like I would have to in order to make it to the show, and that I had rehearsals for my own show, and then the recital all weekend. He said he forgive me. LOL. I do heart him very much. And he hearts us! Yay!!